Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I am NOT HAPPY. NOTTT HAPPYYY
in fact i am depressed. i am not ok now. still not ok. no retail therapy or good food is going to make me feel better this time. why, i shouldn't even be blogging. you should know what i am talking about i just got some of my results back and it sucks so bad i am stupid i don't know whats punctuation i went to the gym after school because there must be some other outlet and chocolate or icecream is not it'll only make me feel even worse for getting fat so i might as well channel my energy to exercise. i like to escape even if for just a while.
so emo i tell you, so emo. the path in and out, so emo, the train ride, so emo. i actually had to look down at my shoes sometimes i tell you it was so embarrassing. i wonder if people noticed my on-off tearing i hope not. so loser. whyyyyyyyyyy. ahhh jeri i'm whining noww.i wonder if employers ever look at these promos JCTs results what if my A levels are majorly screwed up. i have a back up plan you know. i either wait one year and take as private candidate or go overseas which is highly unlikely so. i cannotttt afford to screw up the A levels! why i study more still the same. why can't i ever figure what the question wants. how did i become like that. eh it's not a good thing when all the marks add up to only around 100 ok. though i haven't gotten back all but i can predict bio's going to go down, gp needless to say. i'm convinced. my maximum capability is only O levels. i should not have came to JC what was i thinking.
i know there's the prelims and i can use 2 or 3 more months to mug my ass off but at this point in time i feel horrible. really horrible. when you're here you don't really wish to think about what to do you know what i mean. ya ok i don't wish to go deeper don't ask.
so i went for dinner with the girls cos we arrange already arh not nice to last miinute don't go. yup i was happy for a few hours. :)
i'm going to go do work now and revise. this time for real. FOR REAL i'll go offline too. if by prelims i still fail i don't know what to do already. if i continue to fail my tests . X/
unsmart, out.